Home     More Jokes

1.)    Ponderings:

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

2.)    HIS HOLY CROSSWORD

A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle.

Time passes and the priest says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'u-n-t'?"

The gentleman thinks about this and finally says, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'"

The priest replies, "Oh, you're right. That fits, too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

 

Home     More Jokes