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1.)   Driving through Georgia
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"

2.)   Bragging
A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his farm.
After seeing the 1,000 acre spread, the Texan bragged that down home he could get into his car, drive all day, and by evening would not have gotten to the distant point of his ranch.
The South Dakotan simply replied, "You know, I had a car like that once."

 

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