1.) World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and
hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and martini's and had
tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he
wanted
2. After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery
presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's
best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives
it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The
King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring
water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a
little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a
Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys
aren't drinking beer, neither would I."