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1.)   While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

2.)    Poor old Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. 

So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a blinding flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '1, 2, 3,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

"All you or your partner has to say is '1, 2, 3, 4,' and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year."

Excitedly Harry rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. Once he has readied himself, is in bed and is lying next to her, he takes a deep breath and says, "1, 2, 3" and, in an instant, he becomes harder and more aroused than anytime in his whole life - just as the medicine man had promised. 

He reaches over and caresses his wife, who had been facing away from him and, as he begins to stroke her, she turns over and asks, "What did you say '1, 2, 3' for??"

 

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