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1.)     The Hormone Hostage 

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

1 DANGEROUS:
2 SAFER:
3 SAFEST:
4 ULTRA SAFE:

1 What's for dinner?
2 Can I help you with dinner?
3 Where would you like to go for dinner?
4 Here, have some chocolate.

1 Are you wearing that?
2 Wow, you sure look good in brown!
3 WOW! Look at you!
4 Here, have some chocolate

1 What are you so worked up about?
2 Could we be overreacting?
3 Here's my paycheck.
4 Here, have some chocolate.

1 Should you be eating that?
2 You know, there are a lot of apples left.
3 Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
4 Here, have some chocolate.

1 What did you DO all day?
2 I hope you didn't over-do it today.
3 I've always loved you in that robe!
4 Here, have some more chocolate. 

 



2.)     Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself In the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. 

 

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