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It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a
phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed
the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I
decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "Potts and Pans!" and
I wrote his number down with the word 'Potts and Pans!' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"Potts and Pans!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'Potts and Pans!'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said: "Hi, this is John Smith from the
Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the
Caller ID program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "Potts and Pans!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for
the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car
window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first person (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW person, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the
car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?"
"My name is Don Burgemeyer," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Potts and Pans!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two people to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as
it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.
I called person #1.
"Potts and Pans!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I screamed back.
"Who are you?" he demanded.
"My name is Don Burgemeyer."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ASSHOLE! It's a yellow house, with my
black beemer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over there right now, Don. And you had better
start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared."
Then I called person #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, Potts and Pans!," I said...again, without hanging up.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"
"Yeah, you'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News to let them know about the war going down
on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.
There I saw two people beating the crap out of each other in front of
six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.
NOW, I feel better.
Anger management really works!!!
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