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1.)     There were four engineers traveling in a car: a mechanical engineer, a
chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Microsoft Windows computer
engineer.

Then, the car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the
engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical
engineer.

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might
be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be a grounding problem", says the electrical engineer,
"or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer engineer, who has said nothing and say, "Well,
what do you think?"

"Ummm - perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"

2.)     An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her
husband's sex drive.

'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.

'Not a chance,' says Mrs. Murphy. 'He won't even take an aspirin for a
headache.'

'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even
taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.'

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how
things went.

'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor!'

'What happened?' asks the doctor.

'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was
immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the
same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love
to me on the tabletop. It was terrible!'

'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'was the sex not good?'

'Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be
able to show my face in McDonald's again!'

 

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