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1.)   Will It Hurt?

A woman going through her first pregnancy asks her doctor
if childbirth will hurt. The doctor answers, "Well, it's
difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me
some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out
a little...Now, a little more...A little more...There! Does
that hurt?" The woman answers, " Well… yes."

Good," the doctor replies, "now stretch it over your head!"


2.)    There were four engineers traveling in a car: a mechanical engineer, a
chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Microsoft Windows computer

Then, the car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the
engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might
be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be a grounding problem", says the electrical engineer,
"or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer engineer, who has said nothing and say, "Well,
what do you think?"

"Ummm - perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"




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