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1.)   After dying in a car crash, three friends find themselves
at an orientation to enter heaven. Each one was asked,
"When you are in your casket, what would you like to hear
your friends and family saying about you?"

Sean says, "I would like to hear them say I was a great
doctor and a great family man."

Karl says, "I would like to hear them say I was a wonderful
husband and an excellent teacher who made a difference in
children's lives."

Juan says, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's
moving!'"

 

 

2.)   An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left

the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said,

"Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What's the name of that flower

you give to someone you love? You know ... the one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes," the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled,

"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

 

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