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Traffic Ticket

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's
window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled
over.
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's
why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down --
what the hell's the difference?"

The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to
start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me
to stop or slow down."
 

A middle-aged woman is in a terrible accident and is rushed to the hospital.
On the way there, her vital signs fail. The doctors are able to revive her,
but, while she is gone, she sees God and he tells her she has 40 more years
to live.

Since she is in the hospital, anyway, and knows she's going to be around for
a while, she decides to use the stay for self-improvement. She has a
face-lift, a fanny-lift, and breast implants. She looks completely different
after the operation.

She gets released from the hospital and, as she crosses the street, is run
over by a truck and killed.

When she sees God again, she says to him, 'I thought you said I still have
40 years left to live!'

To which God replies, 'Oh, I'm sorry ... I didn't recognize you.'

 

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