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The Young Marine
One day a young Marine and his commanding officer were
aboard a train heading through the mountains of
Switzerland. They sat directly across the aisle from a
young woman and her grandmother. Before long, the young
Marine and the young lady were eyeing each other with
mutual attraction. Suddenly passing through a mountain
tunnel, it was pitch black in the train for a few minutes.
Nothing could be seen in the car of the train, and the only
sounds were the smack of a kiss, followed by a slap. When
the train emerged from the tunnel, the four people sat
without saying a word.
The grandmother was thinking to herself: "It was very brash
for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, and I'm
glad she slapped him."
The commanding officer was thinking: "I didn't know this
young Marine was brave enough to kiss that girl, but I sure
wish she hadn't missed him and slapped me instead!"
The young woman was thinking: "I'm glad the handsome Marine
kissed me, but I wish my grandmother wouldn't have slapped
The young Marine sat back with a smile on his face,
thinking: "Life is good. How often does a fellow have the
chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his commanding
officer, all at the same time?"
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over the lawyers he would
see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer
walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a
loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitch
hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road", replied the priest.
"No problem, Father. I'll give you a lift. Climb into the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver
continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down
the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered
there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved
back to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. However, even though he was
certain he missed the lawyer, he sill heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding
where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see
anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit
"That's okay, replied the priest. I got him with the door!!!"
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