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A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a
priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was covered with red lipstick,
and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He
opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned
to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too
much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.", the priest said.

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."


Bumper Stickers 2

1. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
2. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
3. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
4. The Face Is Familiar But I Canít Quite Remember My Name
5. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
6. Illiterate? Write For Help
7. Honk If Anything Falls Off
8. Cover Me Iím Changing Lanes
9. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
10. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
11. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
12. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
13. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
17. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then Youíre Doing It Wrong...
18. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!!
19. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]
20. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.



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