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Captain Bravado

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy
named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his
enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout
spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became
frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt,
and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain
led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates.
That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the
triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir,
why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"
The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the
attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men
would continue to fight, unafraid."
All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a
manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout
spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching.
The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and
waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada
arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and
calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."

 

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