Home     More Jokes

 One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I
should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that
can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a
sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell
you what you can do about it. It only costs ten dollars."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample
and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample
and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various
lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of
paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting.
It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how
it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine
could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and
daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to
the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample, and deposited the
$10. The computer made the usual noise and printed out the following

Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.

Your dog has worms.
Get him vitamins.

Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.

And if you don't stop jerking off,
your tennis elbow will never get better.


Home     More Jokes