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Al Gore decides to try horseback riding, even though he has
had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse
unassisted, and it immediately springs into motion. As it
gallops along at a steady pace, Al begins to slip from the
In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane, but can't get a
firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse's
neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway.
Finally giving up his frail grip, he tries to leap off the
horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot
has become entangled in the stirrup, he is now at the mercy
of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck
against the ground over and over.
He is moments away from unconsciousness when, to his great
fortune, Wendell, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees him and
unplugs the horse.
One day, a man walked into the produce section of his local
supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The
boy working in that department told him that they only sold
whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy
ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,
"Some jerk out there wants to buy only half a head of
lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find
the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this
gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed
with the way you got yourself out of that situation
earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where
are you from, son?"
"Minnesota, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Minnesota," the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey
players up there."
"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Minnesota!"
The boy replied, "No kidding? What team did she play for?"
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