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An atheist was walking through the woods, admiring all that the "accidents" that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the grizzly was closing. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run faster. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw strike him. At that instant the atheist cried, "Oh my God!...."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, " You deny my existence for all these years, teach others that I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, " It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well" said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
...and then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed its head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful
 

 

Speed Limit

A State Police officer observed a car puttering along the
highway at 22 mph. He turned on his lights and pulled the
car over. Approaching the vehicle, he noticed that it
contained five old ladies - two in the front seat and three
in the back - wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, said, "Officer, I don't
understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit. What's the
problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replied, "You weren't speeding, but
you should know that driving slower than the speed limit
can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? I'm following the posted
speed exactly!"
The officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explained that
"22" was the route number, not the speed limit.
Embarrassed, the woman smiled and thanked him for pointing
out her error.
Before letting her go, the officer asked, "Is everyone in
this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they
haven't muttered a single peep this whole time."

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got
off Route 119."
 

 

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