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Bum

A bum asks a man for two dollars.
The man says, "If I give you money, will you buy booze?"
The bum answers, "No."
Then the man wonders, "Well, will you gamble it away?"
The bum says, "No."

Finally the man asks, "Then will you come home with me so
my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or
gamble?"
 

 

A woman holding a baby gets on a bus. The bus driver looks at them and says, Damn, That's the ugliest baby Iíve ever seen!

In a huff the woman slams her money into the farebox and goes to the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sees sheís agitated and asks whatís wrong.

The bus driver insulted me! she fumes.

Thatís outrageous! says the man. Heís a public servant and shouldnít be insulting passengers.

You 're right! the woman says. I think Iíll go up there and give him a piece of my mind!

Thatís a good idea, says the man. 'Iíll hold your monkey.
 

 

 

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