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1.)    An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked
somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert
explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove,
table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One
day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at
once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20
minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

2.)    A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for
a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with
the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says.
"You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?"

"Nine..."

 

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