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1.)  A 60 year-old couple was celebrating their 40 years of
marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because
you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would
like to give you each one wish."

The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the
world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the
tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment,
then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years
younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF!
He was 90...

2.)  An old woman went into her doctor's office and confessed to an
embarrassing problem.

"I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless,
and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've
farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription Mrs. Barker", the doctor said. "Take
these pills three times a day for seven days and come back
and see me in a week."

Next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's
office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the
problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, they're still
soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have
to say for yourself?!"

"Calm down Mrs. Barker", said the doctor soothingly. "Now
that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

3.)   What goes: Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, bang
bang, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop?

An 'Amish' drive-by shooting.


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