Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.   


   Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically
challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet". This is an excerpt from a 
Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the 
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along 
with photocopies of the floppies.

4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to 
hold on and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing 
the room to close the door to his room.

5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician 
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in 
front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and 
water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and 
washing them individually.

7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech
explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.

8. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He
told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find 
printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face 
the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer".

9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged 
in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power 
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and 
nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in 
and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When 
asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What 
power switch?"

11. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in 
the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to 
put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't 
realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for
installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its
cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the 
casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

13. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. 
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his 
printer is working fine."

14. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys 
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the 
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"



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