Hello, Welcome To The "Psychiatric Hotline"
If you are Obsessive-Compulsive,
press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co-Dependent,
please ask someone to press 2.
If you have Multiple Personalities,
press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are Paranoid-Delusional,
we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line
while we trace your call.
If you are Schizophrenic,
listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number
If you are Manic-Depressive,
it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
The Jew and the Titanic
A rabbi is sitting on an airplane next to a Korean guy. After
they have been flying together in silence for a while, the
rabbi leans over and says, "You know, I've never forgiven
you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor."
The Korean looks shocked and replies, "What the hell are you
talking about?!?!? It was the Japanese the bombed Pearl
Harbor, not the Chinese. And besides, I'm not Chinese or
Japanese, I'm Korean!"
The rabbi says, " Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the
A little while later, the Korean man says, "You know, I've
never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic." The rabbi
looks confused and mad and says, "What are you talking
about? The Jews didn't have anything to do with that! An
iceberg sank the Titanic!"
The Korean guy replies, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg,
what's the difference?"
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