What the new job-lingo really means.


"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that
you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear
earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind
schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time
each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED": Female Applicants must be childless (and
remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told
the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for
resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE":
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company
in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the
responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you
listen, figure out what they want and do it.


 

 

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